Thursday, 31 July 2014

Teaching your Growing Up daughter... How to protect themselves?




如果機械地告誡孩子 “要小心男老師和校長, 他們有可能會傷害你”, 就會讓孩子喪失對世界的信任, 甚至令她對異性產生恐懼, 影響她未來的婚戀觀。
 
到底要怎麼做, 才能既提醒女兒, 又不會傷害到她呢?
 
有一天, 我看了《美麗人生》這部電影, 突然有了靈感。 這個電影講的是納粹時期的故事, 全家被抓入集中營後, 父親為了不讓孩子留下心理陰影, 就對兒子說, 集中營裡發生的一切都只是一個遊戲, 只要不違反遊戲規則, 就能獲得一部坦克。 雖然集中營的生活很恐怖, 但是孩子卻快樂地生存下來, 直至獲救, 心中依然充滿愛與希望…
 
我決定像這位聰明的父親一樣, 用一種柔和的方式, 幫女兒建立起保護自己的意識——改編童話故事。
 
女兒很喜歡芭比娃娃,有很濃的“公主”情結。所以,我特地在她 6歲生日那天,送了一個美麗的芭比公主玩偶給她,並且溫柔地說:“做公主可不是那麼容易的,她們必須遵守芭比學校的公主守則。否則就算穿得再漂亮,也不是真正的公主。”
 
聽了我的話,女兒連忙追問:“那芭比學校有什麼公主守則呢?”
 
“我每天給你講一個故事,每個故事裡都有一條公主守則,好嗎?”  
 
“好呀好呀,我最喜歡聽故事了!”女兒歡呼雀躍道。
 
我給女兒講的第一個故事是《新白雪公主》:
 
白雪公主深知男女有別,所以雖然跟7個小矮人是好朋友,但每次洗澡和換衣服時,她都會關好門窗,而且每晚都會回自己的房間睡覺。
 
其實白雪公主,並沒有真的吃下巫婆給的毒蘋果。她趁巫婆不注意,偷偷換了一個好蘋果,然後假裝中毒。如果真的中毒,怎麼會那麼容易就活過來呢?白雪公主會換蘋果,是因為她知道,公主不能吃陌生人給的食物,否則自己就會有危險。
 
而且當時小矮人不在家,如果直接揭穿巫婆的詭計,她可能會受到傷害…
 
女兒驚訝地叫道:“原來是這樣呀!我就覺得白雪公主不該那麼笨,死了一次又一次,否則王子怎麼會喜歡她呢?”
 
接下來,我又對《灰姑娘》《豌豆公主》等童話進行了改編:
 
灰姑娘之所以要在 12點之前趕回家,不僅僅是怕美麗的衣服和鞋子被打回原形,還有一個原因是,她覺得一個好女孩,不應該在外面待到太晚。正因為她的堅持,王子才被她深深打動了,認為她不只擁有美貌,而且還是個自尊自愛的好姑娘,適合當未來的王后…
 
在得知豌豆姑娘是真正的公主之後,王子高興地送了一條項鍊給公主,並邀請公主當晚留宿在自己的房間裡。公主果斷地拒絕,並且告訴王子,真正的公主在婚禮之前,是不會跟男子住在同一個房間的,也不會隨便接受別人的禮物。你的做法不像一位真正的王子,所以我不會同你結婚。後來王子意識到了自己的錯誤,再三向公主道歉,並且保證在結婚之前一定不會冒犯公主,豌豆公主這才原諒了他…
 
不知不覺中,我改編了十幾個童話。我充分發揮自己的想像力,盡量把故事講得生動有趣,女兒也饒有興致地從中總結出了許多公主守則,比如背心褲衩覆蓋的地方絕不能讓人摸、不能接受陌生人的飲水食物、不要跟男子獨處一室,就算是自己的長輩、老師或者校長也不可以…
 
有時候,女兒也會發牢騷,問我:“王子不是負責保護公主的嗎,為什麼公主還要這麼小心翼翼地保護自己呢?”
 
我告訴女兒:王子要等公主 20歲以後才會出現。在王子出現之前,公主必須學會保護自己,優雅而高貴地活下去。如果公主因為不會保護自己而受到傷害,那麼她可能等不到王子出現的那一天,就變成天上的星星了。
 
而且,如果公主什麼也不做,只會被動地等待王子拯救,她或許因為美貌一時吸引王子,但是不會被王子所尊重,更不會成為王子的妻子。
 
聽了我的話,女兒似懂非懂地點點頭。
 
經過一段時間的訓練,我幫助女兒建立起了較強的防護意識。現在的她,非常有原則,也懂得巧妙地保護自己。
 
有一次,我因為有事把女兒託給開精品店的妹妹照顧。妹妹臨時外出進貨,店裡只剩下女兒和一個年輕的男店員,於是女兒便跑到隔壁一對夫婦開的店裡玩,直到妹妹回來才返回店中。
 
妹妹問她為什麼不待在店裡看電視,她當時沒說什麼,事後卻悄悄告訴小姨,公主要懂得保護自己,所以最好不要跟男生單獨待在一起。自己之所以剛才沒說,是怕店員哥哥不高興…
 
妹妹告訴我這件事時,我很高興:對一個母親來說,能賦予孩子保護自己的能力,讓她像一株帶刺的玫瑰,安全而美麗地綻放,還有什麼比這更值得欣慰的呢?

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Something for you to ponder about....


I Made $15 Million Before I Was 30, And Being Rich Wasn’t As Awesome As You’d Think


Editor’s note: An anonymous user on Quora posted this insightful answer to the question “Is getting rich worth it?” While we can’t confirm the identity of the user, the answer is definitely worth a read.
I made $15 million in my mid-20s after I sold a tech startup. I talked to a lot of people about this question, and thought a lot about how to stay the same person I was before and after making money.
Here’s my answer: being rich is better than not being rich, but it’s not nearly as good as you imagine it is.
The answer why is a bit more complicated.
First, one of the only real things being rich gives you is that you don’t have to worry about money as much anymore. There will still be some expenses that you cannot afford (and you will wish you could), but most expenses can be made without thinking about what it costs. This is definitely better, without a doubt.
Being rich does come with some downsides, though. The first thing you are thinking reading that, is, “cry me a river”. That is one of the downsides. You are not allowed to complain about anything, ever. Since most people imagine being rich as nirvana, you are no longer allowed to have any human needs or frustrations in the public eye. Yet, you are still a human being, but most people don’t treat you like one.
There’s the second downside. Most people now want something out of you, and it can be harder to figure out whether someone is being nice to you because they like you, or they are being nice to you because of your money. If you aren’t married yet, good luck trying to figure out (and/or always having self doubt) about whether a partner is into you or your money.
Then you have friends & family. Hopefully your relationship with them doesn’t sour, but it can get harder. Both can get really weird about it and start to treat you differently. They might come and ask for a loan (bad idea: if you give, always give a gift). One common problem is that they don’t appreciate Christmas presents the way that they used to, and they can get unrealistic expectations for how large a present should be and be disappointed when you don’t meet their unrealistic expectations. You have to start making decisions for your parents on what does and does not cost too much, and frankly, it’s awkward.
Add all of these up and you can start to feel a certain sense of isolation.
You sometimes lay awake at night, wondering if you made the right investment decisions, whether it might all go away. You know that feeling standing on a tall building, the feeling you might lose your mind and jump? Sometimes you’re worried that you might lose your mind and spend it all.
The next thing you need to understand about money is this: all of the things you picture buying, they are only worthwhile to you because you cannot afford them (or have to work really hard to acquire them). Maybe you have your eye on a new Audi — once you can easily afford it, it just doesn’t mean as much to you anymore.
Everything is relative, and you are more or less powerless to that. Yes, the first month you drive the Audi, or eat in a fancy restaurant, you really enjoy it. But then you sort of get used to it. And then you are looking towards the next thing, the next level up. And the problem is that you have reset your expectations, and everything below that level doesn’t get you quite as excited anymore.
This happens to everyone. Good people can maintain perspective, actively fight it, and stay grounded. Worse people complain about it and commit general acts of douchebaggery. But remember this: it would happen to you, too, even though you might not think so. You’ll just have to trust me on this one.
Most people hold the illusion that if only they had more money, their life would be better and they would be happier. Then they get rich, and that doesn’t happen, and it can throw them into a serious life crisis.
If you’re part of the middle class, you have just as many opportunities to do with your life what you want of it. If you’re not happy now, you won’t be happy because of money.
Whether you’re rich or not, make your life what you want it to be, and don’t use money as an excuse. Go out there, get involved, be active, pursue your passion, and make a difference.

Thursday, 3 July 2014

You are more beautiful than you Thought....

Take a look at this movie...
http://sfglobe.com/?id=1236&src=share_fb_new_1236

Have you been too harsh on yourself...
Have you been too picky on yourself...

It is time ...
for you to take a step back...
and have a clearer picture of ...
who you really are!





http://sfglobe.com/?id=1236&src=share_fb_new_1236

Taken in Prague, Czech 2014

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Happy New Year! 2014~


Happy New Year! 
From " Fantasy " 4
2014




"Serious" look...
for a family photo


Joyous look!





Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Life is a Dance









Life is a dance...
Right & Left...
Back & Forth...
You & Me...
Mandy & Haris...




Life is a mirror

Life is a mirror...
Smile at it...
It will smile back at you ...
Cheers!