How to communicate? Even in Anger, Frustration... Still get the result Desired!!!

Leh: Just love the tone of the ray shining on the Himalayan range.

The Talking Stick That Do the MAGIC!!!

The talking stick has been used for centuries by many American Indian tribes as a means of just and impartial hearing. The talking stick was commonly used in council circles to designate who had the right to speak. When matters of great concern came before the council, the leading elder would hold the talking stick and begin the discussion. When he finished what he had to say he would hold out the talking stick, and whoever wished to speak after him would take it. In this manner the stick was passed from one individual to another until all who wished to speak had done so. The stick was then passed back to the leading elder for safe keeping.

I found it very POWERFUL tool when I encounter similar problem in my conversation with my loves one. They seemed not to understand what I trying very very hard to CONVEY... It ended up with MORE and MORE frustration until I discovered this wonderful talking tool!

USE THE TALKING STICK!!! ( just use anything as a symbol , e.g. Pen... )

Whoever holds the talking stick has within his hands the sacred power of words. Only he can speak while he holds the stick; the other council members must remain silent. The eagle feather tied to the talking stick gives him the courage and wisdom to speak truthfully and wisely. The rabbit fur on the end of the stick reminds him that his words must come from his heart and that they must be soft and warm. The blue stone will remind him that the Great Spirit hears the message of his heart as well as the words he speaks. The shell, iridescent and ever changing, reminds him that all creation changes -- the days, the seasons, the years -- and people and situations change, too. The four colors of beads -- yellow for the sunrise (east), red for the sunset (west), white for the snow (north) and green for the earth (south) -- are symbolic of the powers of the universe he has in his hands at the moment to speak what is in his heart. Attached to the stick are strands of hair from the great buffalo. He who speaks may do so with the power and strength of this great animal.

The speaker should not forget that he carries within himself a sacred spark of the Great Spirit, and therefore he is also sacred. If he feels he cannot honor the talking stick with his words, he should refrain from speaking so he will not dishonor himself. When he is again in control of his words, the stick will be returned to him.

Stephen Covey on " The Indian Talking Stick" 

** at time, you may face frustration, anger when you talk to other people especially your love one... more so if they don't understand your message... NOW, I FOUND a solution for that ... even when the communication in anger... you can change it to most FRUITFUL communication! I did it myself, it works on me. I hope this help you too!!! 

Stephen Covey explains the power of listening for understanding in his story about the Indian Talking Stick.  As anyone knows who has ever taken one of my college classes or attended one of my business seminars, I believe that listening is one of the most under utilized and underrated skills of leaders and managers.  

In our culture of just get it done, business leaders and managers often do not listen to each other to truly understand the other point of view.  When leaders and managers really learn to listen to understand the perspectives of their employees, customers, and other important stakeholders, they not only improve interpersonal relationships but they also get better results (often simply because they have better information on which to act).  

Native Americans understood the power of empathetic listening  as Stephen discusses in the following video:

This is the way to go!

Ultimate way of communication!

The Indian Talking Stick!