5 Powerful Tips on Creating Instant Rapport- Tony Robbins Notes - The Magic of Rapport
1) Rapport is created by a feeling of commonality.
The more we have in common with others and the more we pay attention to them, the more rapport we build with them.
2) Matching and mirroring breathing, tone, voice, posture, gestures, pace of speech, proximity, and touch - all of them can put you into rapport.
Every word and action makes us either similar or different from the person we are interacting with. Be as in-sync as possible to stay in rapport.
3) People like people who are like themselves or how they would like to be.
The more we can be like a chameleon, to become like the other person, the more we are in rapport.
4) Style is more important than substance... initially.
People decide whether they trust and like you in under a minute upon meeting you for the first time. First impressions last for a long time! Make it positive, and you're off to a great start. Pay attention to your words and actions to continue being in rapport!
5) Words only makes up 7% of our conversations. Physiology makes up 55% of conversations.
Pay attention on HOW you say and do things, rather than WHAT you say and do. People receive more of what you are communicating through your actions than through your words.
In short, we must learn from great GURU in order to be success in our life!
How to do it?
First engage in conversation by asking questions. Questions don’t build rapport but they are a tool we use to dig for something. Find something in common. People like people who are like themselves or are like the person they wish to become. Rapport is created with feeling of commonality. When you feel you have something in common with someone there’s a spark. 7% of our communication is done with words the rest is done with tonality and body language.
Mirroring and Matching
This happens when you becoming like the person you are communicating with. Matching body language, volume / tone of voice. What ever they put out send the same message back. Style is more important than substance initially but without substance the relationship won’t last.
Body language – You can match posture, gesture, eye contact, and breathing.
Voice – If you mirror someone’s tonality of voice they will connect with you and not even know city talkers, people who speak slow think fast talking people are untrustworthy.Other ways of matching voice are volume of voice and use the same terminology they use.
Proximity - Space needed to feel comfortable. This is different for everyone. Look at body language to make sure you are at the right proximity. If they tighten up, move sideways,or turn away from you this means they feel uncomfortable.
Touch - You can build more rapport by touching someone then anything you could ever say. Match handshake. Pats on the back or shoulder. Be careful with this. Don’t want to freak people out by being too touchy feely.
Don’t duplicate someone’s accent – If you do this wrong you will destroy any chance of building rapport.
You don’t have to mirror everything someone does to have rapport. You can build it with just matching a few things like leg position and tone of voice.
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